The Unbearable Heaviness of Being

-A Commentary on Once More to the Lake

In his essay Once More to the Lake, E. B. White vividly illustrates his revisit to the holy spot of his childhood, a mountain lake, where people led an easy and quiet life, far away from the city heat. Time left no trace on the lake. During the one-week trip with his son, despite the pastoral scenery, White tangled with the illusion of his childhood and the present reality. After a close observation on everything around and careful reflection, White realized his present existence, which meant he was different from the boy he used to be. The notions of the passage of time and the cycle of life, which ultimately leads every man to his death, stroke him heavily, leaving a sense of unbearable heaviness of being on the essay.

Even though mixed with a bit of nostalgia and sentiment, the tone of the essay appears to be joyful and relaxed till the last sentence: “…suddenly my groin felt the chill of death.” Abrupt and confusing as it may first seem, this sentence is the essence of the essay, revealing a fundamental principle of life that underlies the delightful time people spent around the lake. White implicitly develops the foundations for this insightful truth in all the previous paragraphs, elaborately creating three layers which gradually and smoothly lead to the dramatic climax in the last sentence.

Illusion vs. Reality

Upon arriving at the lake with his son, White’s memories of his childhood were unleashed. The lake and its surroundings seemed exactly the same, as if there were no passage of time. This amazing stillness confused White with the past and the present. In his fishing trip with his son, White was mesmerized by the pensive and tranquil atmosphere around the lake, having the illusion that he was still in his childhood. The illusion was so delicate that it gave him a sense of dizziness and lightness. However, the reality constantly resurfaced and destroyed his illusion of timelessness. The road leading to the tennis court had changed. The waitresses had changed. The motorboats had changed. All these fragments of changes weighed heavily on White’s heart, cruelly reminding him that time flows on and he would finally grow old. The conflicts between illusion and reality set out the sense of heaviness of the essay.

Nature vs. Human

White had a strong attachment to the lake, cherishing every detail of it, so that years later when he returned, his memories could still resonate with the present scenes: the air was still fresh and lumber-scented and the water was still cool and motionless. He was amazed at the permanence of nature, such as the “stillness of the cathedral” of the lake or the “utterly enchanted sea”. The passage of time could not be reflected by nature, yet some human activities relentlessly disturbed the subtle sense of eternity, the worst of which were the changes of arriving and motorboats. Witnessing those changes, White once again woke up from the fantasy of timelessness. Nothing will last forever even in the “remote and primeval” lake area. As the awareness of the passage of time is deepened, the sense of heaviness of the essay is enhanced.

Youth vs. Maturity

White’s son took great pleasures from the trip. He did all the typical things that a boy would do when camping. Other youngsters, as White’s son, were also exhilarated. They “disarranged and pawed over the plugs and spinners in the store”. All of them had the same energy and naughtiness in their young spirits, so innocent and so carefree. As he watched and heard his boy doing the same things he used to do, White’s reminiscence merged. He thought of his father, who “rolled over in a canoe with all his clothes on” and took charge of the “trunks matters”. Being an adult means behaving maturely and taking responsibility. Then in the thunderstorm, while others got drenched with excitement in the pouring rain, White had “no thoughts of going in”. As he watched his son putting on his trunks, his heart imploded: he had embarked on a journey to mortality and his son was a major sign of his cycle of life. This heavy blow unveiled the universal truth White had been seeking for: the passage of time exerts subtle or tremendous effects on everything, and these accumulated changes constitute the cycle of life. This course of nature, leading to death, is inescapable, so even the slightest thought of it is unbearable. At this point, the essay was elevated to the highest level.

The lake was a sacred spot to White, for it represented the joyous moments of his childhood. The comparison between illusion and reality, and the disturbed balance between nature and human suggest the process of White’s induction, in which the illusion and the affection of nature show White’s unwillingness to accept changes. Subconsciously, White wanted to be Peter Pan, being young forever. A child does not realize the life cycle that leads to death, thus he can enjoy the purest happiness. On the contrary, an adult, as he has become sophisticated, has foreseen unavoidable ending of life and must take all kinds of responsibility, both of which would burden heavily on his soul. That is why White was so reluctant to confront changes and the passage of time.

Passage of time, cycle of life and death are by no means easy subjects for people to ponder on. Nevertheless E. B. White expresses his sense of this unbearable heaviness of being through Once More to the Lake in a basically delightful tone. Even though he was destined to die, he still appreciated the beauty of life and nature. So cherish the life now and carpe diem!

From the author:

After reading Once More to the Lake, I was impressed, not only by the delightful tone or the vivid description, but also by the heaviness of the issues E. B. White deliberates on. Passage of time, cycle of life and death triggered my sentimental thoughts and I analyzed the essay in depth and selected three aspects which are essential to the development of the essay. The title of the commentary originates from Milan Kundera’s The Unbearable Lightness of Being, yet I replace “lightness” with “heaviness”, which, I think, captures the theme of the essay. As to the language, under the strong influence of White’s poetic words, I tend to use flowery words, well, just to show my honor to E. B. White and my appreciation to the essay.

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